Wow, I didn't think that I would ever have time to blog again! Well, I went back to work this week and my son is now in daycare. Both of these things are good and this week went great but we are now, again, trying to get him into his room. Why is this so hard!? Have I created a monster? I just want him to be able to do this. To top it off, he has a cold. His nose is running like a faucet. We've bathed him, changed him, fed him and now I sit here. Waiting. Waiting for him to sleep. Waiting for my tears to come. I miss him already. Going to work Monday morning wasn't as bad as this is.
This week though, night time hasn't been so great. He's tossed and turned, not wanted to snuggle. All week I told myself that this weekend was the cutoff. We packed up the co-sleeper and made our room back to the way it was before. Now, I am having second thoughts. There is always an excuse. My little guy is sick and I know he just wants his mommy. What kind of mommy am I to deny him that? And with that, they are here....
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Great Expectations: The Post Baby Body
Beyonce has recently been photographed looking pretty darn good if you ask me. Considering that she just had a baby a month ago, I'll take her stylist or trainer please. It's not escaped me, however, that she looked absolutely fantastic before baby Blue Ivy Carter. These photos got me thinking, does she see what I see or is she like the rest of us mommies that constantly critique their post baby physique, respectively?
Before baby
After Baby (um, yeah)
Funny story....I've nursed since baby was born and lost the baby weight in a month. I had gained 45 lbs and was very impressed with how my body bounced back. Hooray! Breastfeeding is the best thing ever! We had a wedding to attend on New Year's and I couldn't wait. This event was like a reintroduction to my social life. I was so excited, I bought a new dress and shoes. We had a great time and I felt so great about myself until I saw the pictures. Oh, my, gosh. I'm a fat lard. Man, I thought I looked so good! People even told me so! Were my eyes betraying me or my body? Well, maybe this story isn't so much funny but typical.
Don't get me wrong, I know I wasn't perfect before my pregnancy but I was pretty sure that I looked better than in these photos. It was so frustrating. You can't diet while you are breastfeeding and my doctor advised me against strenuous workouts. I'm pretty sure that will be the only time I will ever hear of a doctor advising a patient not to work out. She was worried that the calories I would be burning would take away from the calories my body needs to produce milk. I'm screwed. Gonna be fat until I get this babe on the bottle. Celebrities really suck, you know. They give us a false sense of what reality is and what we should expect from ourselves. I know that there are a few who bounce back quicker than others, like my friend who had her baby girl last August. You know who you are! She walked/ran a 5k two weeks later. Excuse me?! I'm totally serious.
Do the comparisons matter? Well, I know I shouldn't compare myself to others but does it matter if I compare myself to my friends or the celebrities that are plastered everywhere? Which is more realistic? At least my friends aren't airbrushed. My friends, usually, are honest about the hard work they put into themselves or their families. Finding the time to focus on myself is often the hard part. Mommy guilt is real! Heaven forbid I want to do something about hating the reflection I see every time I look in the mirror. Depending on which mirror I look into, I sometimes like what I see a little more than other times. I try to remember that what is looking back at me is only that, a reflection. Not me, entirely. I don't hate myself, but I do have to remind myself that this is just a snapshot of who I physically am right at this moment. Again, I need to let go of my expectations and just embrace myself. My body may never be the way it used to be, I may be a little softer. The tradeoff was totally worth it though. I've been living for me my whole life. Now it's time to live for someone else for a change.
That being said, I'm gonna go research how to trademark my son's name. Beyonce has inspired me in more than one way. HA!
Before baby
After Baby (um, yeah)
Funny story....I've nursed since baby was born and lost the baby weight in a month. I had gained 45 lbs and was very impressed with how my body bounced back. Hooray! Breastfeeding is the best thing ever! We had a wedding to attend on New Year's and I couldn't wait. This event was like a reintroduction to my social life. I was so excited, I bought a new dress and shoes. We had a great time and I felt so great about myself until I saw the pictures. Oh, my, gosh. I'm a fat lard. Man, I thought I looked so good! People even told me so! Were my eyes betraying me or my body? Well, maybe this story isn't so much funny but typical.
Don't get me wrong, I know I wasn't perfect before my pregnancy but I was pretty sure that I looked better than in these photos. It was so frustrating. You can't diet while you are breastfeeding and my doctor advised me against strenuous workouts. I'm pretty sure that will be the only time I will ever hear of a doctor advising a patient not to work out. She was worried that the calories I would be burning would take away from the calories my body needs to produce milk. I'm screwed. Gonna be fat until I get this babe on the bottle. Celebrities really suck, you know. They give us a false sense of what reality is and what we should expect from ourselves. I know that there are a few who bounce back quicker than others, like my friend who had her baby girl last August. You know who you are! She walked/ran a 5k two weeks later. Excuse me?! I'm totally serious.
Do the comparisons matter? Well, I know I shouldn't compare myself to others but does it matter if I compare myself to my friends or the celebrities that are plastered everywhere? Which is more realistic? At least my friends aren't airbrushed. My friends, usually, are honest about the hard work they put into themselves or their families. Finding the time to focus on myself is often the hard part. Mommy guilt is real! Heaven forbid I want to do something about hating the reflection I see every time I look in the mirror. Depending on which mirror I look into, I sometimes like what I see a little more than other times. I try to remember that what is looking back at me is only that, a reflection. Not me, entirely. I don't hate myself, but I do have to remind myself that this is just a snapshot of who I physically am right at this moment. Again, I need to let go of my expectations and just embrace myself. My body may never be the way it used to be, I may be a little softer. The tradeoff was totally worth it though. I've been living for me my whole life. Now it's time to live for someone else for a change.
That being said, I'm gonna go research how to trademark my son's name. Beyonce has inspired me in more than one way. HA!
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