Before baby
After Baby (um, yeah)
Funny story....I've nursed since baby was born and lost the baby weight in a month. I had gained 45 lbs and was very impressed with how my body bounced back. Hooray! Breastfeeding is the best thing ever! We had a wedding to attend on New Year's and I couldn't wait. This event was like a reintroduction to my social life. I was so excited, I bought a new dress and shoes. We had a great time and I felt so great about myself until I saw the pictures. Oh, my, gosh. I'm a fat lard. Man, I thought I looked so good! People even told me so! Were my eyes betraying me or my body? Well, maybe this story isn't so much funny but typical.
Don't get me wrong, I know I wasn't perfect before my pregnancy but I was pretty sure that I looked better than in these photos. It was so frustrating. You can't diet while you are breastfeeding and my doctor advised me against strenuous workouts. I'm pretty sure that will be the only time I will ever hear of a doctor advising a patient not to work out. She was worried that the calories I would be burning would take away from the calories my body needs to produce milk. I'm screwed. Gonna be fat until I get this babe on the bottle. Celebrities really suck, you know. They give us a false sense of what reality is and what we should expect from ourselves. I know that there are a few who bounce back quicker than others, like my friend who had her baby girl last August. You know who you are! She walked/ran a 5k two weeks later. Excuse me?! I'm totally serious.
Do the comparisons matter? Well, I know I shouldn't compare myself to others but does it matter if I compare myself to my friends or the celebrities that are plastered everywhere? Which is more realistic? At least my friends aren't airbrushed. My friends, usually, are honest about the hard work they put into themselves or their families. Finding the time to focus on myself is often the hard part. Mommy guilt is real! Heaven forbid I want to do something about hating the reflection I see every time I look in the mirror. Depending on which mirror I look into, I sometimes like what I see a little more than other times. I try to remember that what is looking back at me is only that, a reflection. Not me, entirely. I don't hate myself, but I do have to remind myself that this is just a snapshot of who I physically am right at this moment. Again, I need to let go of my expectations and just embrace myself. My body may never be the way it used to be, I may be a little softer. The tradeoff was totally worth it though. I've been living for me my whole life. Now it's time to live for someone else for a change.
That being said, I'm gonna go research how to trademark my son's name. Beyonce has inspired me in more than one way. HA!
True story, after I had Gavin, I went for my 6 wk check up and told thr doctor i was worried about the tumors on my hip bones... I was serious, he started laughing and when he realized I wasnt joking, he said "That's fat.". Then, I said, "When are my boobs going to go back the way they were?". He said, "they don't.". And then he instructed me to have a talk with my mom. Nobody told me, and I was looking at pics of celebrities and they had thwir pre-baby bodies. So, I had to make a decision to eat right and fit in exercise. Btw-I was mortified when i saw pics from Bradleys wedding about 8 wks after Gid was born. I wish someone would have told me to wear a girtle.
ReplyDelete